Subject: Rules from Men

Guys' Rules:

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down Finally,  the  guys'  side of the story.(I must admit, it's pretty good.) We always hear  "the  rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male  side.  These are our rules! Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON  PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put  it  down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us  complaining  about  you leaving it down.

1. Sunday Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the  tides.  Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of  it  that  way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do  not  work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every  question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving  it. That's  what  we  do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.  In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't  expect  us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we always mean the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, why not just do it  yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during the commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, Rather like Windows default  settings.  Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a  fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like  nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is so much easier for us.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an  answer  you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is  fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared  to  discuss such topics as boats, V8 engines, rugby union, or monster  trucks.

1. You CAN have enough clothes.

1. You CAN have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape, Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the  couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.